Why Are Men Happier?
Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of
themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can
never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear
NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal. You never have to squat over a public toilet because this one is just too icky. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own
jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone
forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is
$8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost
never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your
clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for
years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play
with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet
and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter
how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have
freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping
for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
